In truth I know not why I am so sad (actually I do)

Question: what play by Shakespeare has as its opening scene an Elvis impersonator singing Viva Las Vegas?

What do you mean, you don't know? It's obvious isn't it? The Merchant of Venice! Because this play is about risk, which could be equated with gambling; and gambling happens in Las Vegas, where there is a miniature mock-up of Venice. You see it all makes perfect sense.

At least it does to Rupert Goold, whose new production in the newly refurbished theatre at Stratford has such a blue chip investment as Patrick Stewart's Shylock that he thinks he can do any old thing on stage and get away with it. And to some extent he can. Stewart and Scott Handy, who plays Antonio, do it pretty straight (Handy was Malcolm to Stewart's Macbeth in Goold's Chichester production, which was later filmed for TV).

Elvis turned out to be Lancelot Gobbo, who broke into song on many occasions, though it was unnerving to have the real thing twice on tape because the actor was no vocal match for the King. So a Mississippian servant but Antonio's hangers-on seem to be mainly Chicago gangsters. And Portia and Nerissa are Texan bimbos presenting a TV game show called Destiny in which contestants have to choose the right casket to win the prize of Portia as wife.

We did at least get Shakespeare's text (somewhat abbreviated) between show-stopping numbers, unlike the ghastly Knee High version of Cymbeline at the Swan a few years ago, which began with a transvestite Mrs Mop showing us her holiday photos from the Canaries.

Some of it worked. The trial scene is practically director-proof. But at the very end, in Belmont, when all has been revealed about the lawyers' disguises, Goold chooses to have an interminable coda in which Portia totters and swivels on one high-heeled shoe in a spotlight. Signifying what, pray?

The audience left very subdued, as I think you are supposed to at the end of Merchant, but not because you have endured that meaningless and embarrassing little display. You should be thinking about the enforced conversion of Shylock, about revenge, and perhaps about why Venetians Jews were moneylenders who charged interest.

There were many young people in the audience having a good time. And the Merchant is a comedy. But it isn't a farce. And I hate the idea - which lies behind Horrible Histories and their ilk - that in order to make something gripping to children it has to be in some way OTT, either gross or hilarious. So that's why I'm sad.

Cardenio

One of the lovely things about living in West Oxfordshire is that we are less than an hour's drive from Stratford-upon-Avon. And we have taken full advantage of that, packing in as much Shakespeare as we possibly can, thrilling to Michael Boyd's athletic Histories in the Courtyard, watching the building site in front of the Memorial Theatre give way to new gardens and sampling the many ways of fitting in a meal before or after plays.

But this Saturday we saw something that was only "almost Shakespeare" or "maybe Shakespeare": Cardenio, Shakespeare's "lost play" re-imagined and directed by by Gregory Doran. As a production it was an absolute triumph, convincingly Spanish, for a play supposed inspired by Cervantes and acted with vigour and energy.


It's a play that might have been written by Shakespeare and Fletcher in 1612; no manuscript survives but in 1727, Lewis Theobald wrote another play, Double Falsehood, or the Distressed Lovers from a text a couple of removes from the original, which was written in the same year that Don Quixote was first published in English. So a list of illustrious ancestors and now two Godfathers: not just Doran but Antonio Alamo, a Spanish dramaturge, whose hand is noticeable throughout.

It helps if you know your Shakespeare. The false friend who falls for his companion's  love was around as early as Two Gentlemen of Verona. Here Cardenio's beloved Luscinda is immediately lusted after by Fernando, younger son of Duke Ricardo. But not until after Fernando has had his wicked way with Dorotea, the daughter of a wealthy farmer, and then immediately wearied of her.

Echoes of Measure for Measure's Mariana in the moated grange here and of All's Well that ends Well in Dorotea's pursuit of her faithless lover while dressed as a shepherd boy.

All four lovers are strongly played. Alex Hassell as Fernando is much more flamboyant than Oliver Rix in the title role but that is probably because Cardenio himself is rather wet; Rix showed in the flamenco that replaced the jig at the end that he could be just as fiery.

Lucy Briggs-Owen was a very lush Luscinda - as beautiful as Uma Thurman and with perfect diction but oh! the endless gurning! She bit her lips, stuck her tongue in her cheek and rolled her eyes like a veteran of EastEnders or Hollyoaks. I hope she'll drop these mannerisms soon. Pippa Nixon as Dorotea seemed much more classically gifted, like a young Dorothy Tutin.

It was a very strong ensemble with Christopher Godwin especially adorable as Cardenio's old father Don Camillo.

So, as far as themes and construction go, it could well have appealed to Shakespeare (though I think he would have had the two women meet and conspire in Fernando's comeuppance). But what about the language? Some false notes here, as when Cardenio explains his difficulties to Fernando:

"The which I dare not mention to my dad,
Fearing lest he won't consent thereto."

Rightly mocked by Shakespeare scholar Katherine Duncan-Jones in her TLS review.

But for a vibrant and impressive evening in the Swan at Stratford for lovers of Shakespeare it's a wonderful experience.

Wedding Planner

My middle daughter is getting married here in October and we are already deep in "arrangements." Not being experts in this area, we have a guidebook which tells us who should do what and when.

Mother of the bride has some very specific responsibilities, most of which she won't do because others have already taken them on. So I don't have to arrange "transport" and "entertainment" for instance, since the groom is rather interested in those.

But choosing an outfit, losing enough weight to wear it and finding a hat that will count as wedding-y enough without making me look like a mushroom, are tasks I cannot delegate.

If you add this to writing the current book by the end of July, doing promotion, including a month-long Blog Tour, for David, reviewing other people's books, attending the Bologna Book Fair and setting up a new joint blog venture, of which more here anon, I think I shall be rather busy.

Oh and championing libraries, of course. I went to the Parish Council Meeting on the Bampton Library this week, where the County Councillor with responsibility for libraries could not answer my questions and the Director (ditto) was inaudible. There were 110 people there from babies in buggies to veteran library-users with walking aids.

The elected member and officer both seemed to think that a/ libraries were solely about books, so Mobile libraries could solve the problems of delivery and b/ if you own a car you won't mind driving it further to a "hub" library. Have they not heard of global warming or is that someone else's department?

Writing again

This is not me and this is not the way I write. This is Charles Dickens but look at that girly hair! However I do not have long hair. I also do not write longhand. Or with a quill pen, or on a wax tablet or a typewriter. And you know what? My hero, Dickens, if he were alive today, would do just what I do, I'm sure of it.

He would compose on a laptop - or an iPad or some other modern form of tablet. Because he was prolific and he could have produced if not more novels then the ones he did write more quickly. And I reckon he would have loved that.

My week began with an interview of over three hours for a major magazine. Watch this space for details. But I had to say how I do what I do and it got me thinking.  I've composed at least ten full-length novels straight on to my laptop - and had about five different laptops in that time. I do write notes in longhand and family trees, index cards for characters and my timeline. But if I want the story to flow, it's a keyboard for me now.

Then I got the first proof copy of David, my new historical novel for Bloomsbury - out in July so  a bit more space-watching. And did a rush job of reviewing someone else's novel. All very well but what was stopping me getting started on my own next book? I had the notes, the reference books, the card index and a board covered with post-it notes but something was holding me back.

I'm not like Douglas Adams, bless him. I don't like the whooshing sounds of deadlines going past. I started as a journalist and the deadline is sacrosanct. And I knew I must start this week at the latest or imperil my ability to deliver on time. But plunging into a new book is a big commitment. You will live with those characters for five or six months and become absent-minded with your family and friends, often drifting off into the world of your book while you are talking to them.

And I know I have a lot of smaller things to write in order to promote David, as well as tinkering with future proposals if there is to be another book after this. So why fritter away time on Facebook and Twitter and reading other people's blogs? Because I can. And I think Charles Dickens might do the same if he were around now too.

"@johannaharness Created a good character called Micawber today #amwriting," I can imagine him Tweeting.

"OMG, wrote 5,000 words," might be his FB Status.

"#ff @MARYMHOFFMAN - she seems a good sort" (I wish!)

My point is that all that faffing around I do has become as much a part of my creative process as any other writing habit. And I HAVE started. Prologue and Chapter One written and printed out, characters re-visited, new ones introduced. I'm on my way.

A heartening piece of news

You can't get away from libraries, even on this personal blog! I have been covering the movement against cuts and closures in Oxfordshire over on http://bookmavenmary.blogspot.com but this post is about a bit of good news.

I told on Radio Oxford a week or so ago and repeated at the Oxfordshire Anti-Cuts Alliance (OACA) meeting last week the story of my local secondary school. Council Leader Keith Mitchell made the fatuous suggestion that the public might use school libraries because "every secondary school in the county has one." I challenged this with the story about my local one.

Carterton Community college had a library but the Headteacher threw out all the books and installed IT equipment in the space. Now, I have nothing against IT equipment. I love my laptop, I blog, Tweet, use Facebook, Skype-text daily and generally embrace the new technology. (I have a Kindle too) But I also have books in every room of my house and owe my career as a writer largely to the free, well-stocked school and public libraries I encountered in my childhood and adolescence.

After the OACA meeting someone came up to me - and I'm cursing that I didn't catch her name - with a heart-warming story. What I had said about Carterton was true, she said, but that was done under a previous Head. Now they were re-stocking the library and re-opening it in September! I couldn't be more pleased.

No guesses where my review copies will be going in future!

What do you believe on the Internet?

Not long ago I saw someone on Twitter saying that they were looking forward to reading David, my latest historical novel. Naturally I was flattered but also a bit intrigued because the book won't be out till next year. I didn't know this person and I was pretty sure she hadn't been to the Troubadour launch party where I talked about it.

So I Tweeted back something along the lines of "that's lovely but you'll have to wait until next year" and she replied that she'd seen it advertised on Amazon. Intrigued, I looked it up myself and there it was. Nothing wrong with advertising well in advance but - and here's the killer - a dealer was advertising secondhand copies!

The book at that time, although written, had not yet been edited so it was a neat trick to have a published copy already "in good condition" though "used." I reported it to my publisher but it's still there on amazon.co.uk. I advise you not to buy it even at the knock-down price of £1.98 plus postage!

Now that I have a couple of websites, I have regular contact with my readers and some of them say the darnedest things. Here is a recent selection:

"Why don't you have an Interesting Vegetables section on your website, like Robert Muchamore?"

"I think you should write a story about cheese on toast"

"Why your books dosen't arrive in my country (Chile)? "

"I felt that you book "Boundless Grace" sends the message that polygamy and absentee dads are acceptable occurences that children should be pruod or happy of." (I didn't answer this one!)

"Dear Mary Hoffman, this is my email:" (Um, yes. What should I do with it?)

Then I got told off on Twitter for revealing too much about the plot of Malorie Blackman's Boys Don't Cry in my recent Guardian review - this was described as a Critic's Crime.

I don't read my Amazon reviews and NEVER look at Amazon rankings - that way madness lies - but I do get Google Alerts into my name and also "Stravaganza", which I also tap into www.whostalkin.com. That way I have found lots of lovely positive reviews to send on to my publicists at my publishers.

But there is no sensitivity filter and I have also stumbled across some real stinkers!

If I were not so clued in and genned up, I wouldn't know about them but then I wouldn't know about the lovely ones too. Truly the Internet is a sword with two edges!

Feeling like a writer

This has been one of those weeks when a lot of writerly things have happened without my having done much writing. Having sent off the edits for my latest historical novel, David, to Bloomsbury, I was preparing to roll up my sleeves to start writing The Great Big Book of Feelings for Frances Lincoln.

But then I was derailed by the arrival of the layouts for Grace at Christmas. So seasonal! But not available till next year. It was written in December last year and it felt suitably festive to check it all through in the same season: it makes it feel a genuinely Christmassy book.

Cornelius van Wright and his wife Ying-Hwa Hu have done a really lovely job on the interior illustrations. I'm sorry you'll have to wait a year to see those but  here is the cover. My Art Director at Frances Lincoln says it will be "a more Chrsitmassy green" which I'm glad to hear as the background looks a little cold in this image.

On Monday one of our dinner guests was Linda Aronson, who became a friend after I gave her hilarious Kelp a rave review in, I think, The Telegraph. It's always fun talking plot ideas with Linda, who is a Hollywood script doctor in her other life.

Then on Thursday I went to a book-signing at my local Waterstone's - twice actually, because they were having a late night opening. I have done this so often and in so many places that it no longer strikes me as odd. But it IS a bit strange - isn't it? - to do what children often call "scribbling in a book."

So there I was, "scribbling" in copies of my Stravaganza novels and Princess Grace and The Great Big Book of Families, knowing that I must start writing Stravaganza 6 next month, that the next Grace would be out in a year's time and that I must write the text for the next Great Big Book of ... before Christmas. So that's it - it's my job. Even after 90+ books, I still can't quite believe it.

How are the might-y fallen?

There was a news story this week that the Leeds Building Society is employing a retired teacher to give their graduate staff remedial grammar lessons. Meanwhile Emma Thompson berated some schoolgirls for the over-use of "like" and "innit" saying it made them sound stupid.

I thought I'd save any other institutions from spending money by starting an occasional series of posts about some of the regular blunders found in newspapers and heard on the radio.

I'm currently reading a book published by a small academic press in which the author uses "infers" when she means "implies." Having those two words which mean something different is one of the many strengths and richnesses of English.

I'm implying that such distinctions are worth making and retaining - you might infer, correctly, that I'm a stickler, or pedant if you prefer. Of course language use changes over time: "whom" is rapidly becoming a fossil and most people don't use "nice" to mean "precise" though that meaning is retained in " a nice distinction."

I'm all in favour of nice distinctions. I think they're nice. 

Here's another: to "flaunt" means to show off, to display; to "flout" means to disregard or disobey something. And yet you see the one used instead of the other every day. A senior figure in the library service in the London borough I used to live in used to say "mitigate against" confusing "militate" (contend)  and "mitigate" (soften, make less harsh).

But one of the most annoying common usages (to me) is the global replacement of "might" by "may." Recently, I heard and read everywhere "Raoul Moat warned police that he may hurt his ex-girlfriend."

Well, his words might have been "I may hurt her" but when it's reported speech the "may" changes to "might." Except that these days it doesn't! (And yes, I do know that what happened to Moat and his victims is more important than the grammar used when telling us about it).

Steven Berkoff in the Guardian a week or so ago wrote about the relations "between my father and I" and even the last Prime Minister said in a speech "my mother brought my brother and I up" to do something or other. I don't remember what; I was probably screaming at the radio too loudly to hear.

So, these are a few examples in the fields of meaning and grammar, semantics and syntax. What the ones that really annoy you? Give examples in the comments.

Celebrity

Well, this was nice! I haven't had such a close brush with fame since my kiss with Marty Wilde, aged 13 (me I mean, not him). Unless you count 15 minutes with George W Bush at Downing Street in 2003.* Which I don't. Marty and Jeff were both much nicer experiences.

What was really strange was when Jeff Goldblum offered to sign my programme for "Prisoner of Second Avenue" for me. Of course I said yes. But I had a tiny moment of hesitation and here's why:

You see, usually people ask me to sign things for them. Now, in case this sounds incredibly arrogant, I am speaking of book-signings at bookshops, festivals and schools etc. I have never had anyone stop me in the street and ask for an autograph. And I hope I never shall.

But because of my experience in this department, I have often mused on autographs and fame. I can understand someone liking to have their book signed by the author; I like that too and am lucky that many of my friends are also writers.

But the kids who come up with scraps of paper torn from exercise books - what does a signature do for them? Is it a brush with fame? Or perceived celebrity at least? If I saw one of my heroes or crushes in a public place I wouldn't dream of rushing up and asking for an autograph. The most I would do is wear a big soppy grin (see photo).

I would NEVER have bothered Jeff Goldblum for an autograph if I'd bumped into him in a restaurant, say. But since we had been introduced and he was asking ... Well, of course.

What do you all think about this? Writer friends who sign and non-writer friends and passers-by who collect autographs? And what do you do with them afterwards?


* I should like to make it quite clear no hugging or kissing took place on that occasion. Eww!

Skype "visits" - the future?

Last week I was contacted, via my website, by a school in Texas at short notice, to see if I would agree to a Skype "visit" with the Grade Three class taught by my correspondent. I had said on my site that I was open to such suggestions.

So we managed to find a time that worked for us both - 5pm for me and 11am for them - and tackled the technology.

They wanted me to read Amazing Grace and answer a few questions, which didn't sound too hard. I have only the camera on my Apple Mac - no webcam as yet - so the image is not wonderful but of course the user can see only a tiny square in the left corner; it's much bigger for the viewers at the other end.

There were some introductions and then I read the story, without any problems. The children were all very quiet and attentive and gave me a big clap at the end. It was only when the first child got up to ask a question that our problems began. I could see and hear them but they could only see me.

We re-connected several times but always the same problem. So I started to Skype-text them. (I'm a very experienced Skype-texter because I do it with one of my daughters almost every day). The children asked their questions and I answered them by text. They could see it scrolling as I wrote and corrected, though it was a bit of a pain because I had to switch away from the main image while I was writing and couldn't see them.

This is what their nice teacher wrote: "Thank you so much! The kids LOVED their experience, even if we had technical difficulties.  It was probably on our end, except I'm not computer-savvy enough to know what caused it. So no apology needed.  I thought it was so neat for them to hear you read your own story. They loved your accent.
Again, the kids LOVED it, and I know they will be talking about it all year long.  :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  You have inspired our kids to love stories as much as you do!"



So  a high score on the warm glow front but the technical problems were frustrating. I did a test-call afterwards, which was fine on sound so I expect the problem developed at their end but this is something we need to be aware could happen.

The whole business calls into question what author visits of the future might be like.

On the plus side, a half hour visit without any travel fatigue or problems, no question that the school wouldn't know you were coming, good interaction with kids and teachers, enhanced librarian awareness of other titles and obviously distance no object.

On the minus, no book sales on the day (though maybe later) no possibility of signing books unless you possess Margaret Attwood's Long Pen, no close eye contact, no ability to stroll up and down when talking or to show pictures clearly as you read.

There are probably others I haven't thought of.

I didn't charge for this visit, as it was experimental, but was the first question I was asked by another author and we've been having a bit of a debate about it on my writers' forum. "Is this a way of getting cheap visits" and "won't it undercut other authors who don't (want to) Skype?" being considerations. I haven't been in touch with the Society of Authors about it yet but would be interested to hear others' experience of this new technology.

Another one

Well, I finished my novel about Michelangelo's David just in time for its deadline, in spite of a calamitous computer crash two weeks before. And so far the signs are good, in that my agent and editor love it.

I found that out in superquick time too, which was a huge relief, as authors go through agonies between submission and reaction/acceptance.

At the other end of the age range I've also been talking with the editor, illustrator and art director for The Great Big Book of Families, and we are planning at least two more Great Big Books of ... Watch this space for more.

And we launched the Troubadour paperback at Bloomsbury on Thursday - see my other blog for a photo http://tinyurl.com/36pgtm5

It's enough to make one feel like a writer. 

This week's questions

The Contact Page of my website carries this very clear message:

IMPORTANT
If your question refers to the publication dates of Stravaganza novels in specific countries, please direct it to the publisher, as I don't have this information.

You can find more information on this and on other topics on my FAQs page. Please read it carefully before you write to me. The answer to your question may already be there.

It's in red and in a box. And yet, the most recent batch of emails from readers includes an enquiry from Sweden about when books four and five will be published there, another from Italy about how to find the further books there and one from France about when City of Ships will be translated.

It's perhaps not unreasonable for fans to think I would know this stuff. But actually, I don't! hence the box in red above. There is also one from a reader who wants me to notify her when auditions take place for a film of Stravaganza. Even if there were to be such a film, I could not possibly write to all the young women who have expressed an interest in playing Arianna!

What it seems to show is that there is a big gulf between what a writer's life is actually like and how readers think it is. I do get informed about sales to foreign publishers but have no schedule of publication. I put news up on the website as and when I get it - and I hope you are enjoying its new design and easier navigation.

Readers also often ask "Why did you change the covers?" of  the Stravaganza sequence, but i didn't; the publishers did! Really, writers don't have as much power as you imagine!

And now I must go and answer all those fanmails.

Getting started

This is my first Newsletter to go with my brand new website at: www.maryhoffman.co.uk

I'm going to use it to update readers on my latest writing exploits and to answer reader/follower questions. plesae do feel free to comment.

But to get us started, I thought I'd talk about how I got started. I've read lots of blogs about how people first got published and there's a fascinating range of stories.

In my case, when I left university (for the 2nd time - slight blip in career plan then), I was much clearer about what I didn't want to do than what I did. Specifically, I did not want to be a teacher. No disrespect to the profession but I knew I wasn't suited to it - far too impatient.

So, in the absence of any other plan, I decided to write a children's book. Why children's and not adult, I don't now remember, but I got myself a wonderful place to live in Belsize Park, as a dog-walker and house-companion to the utterly wonderful Eva Reckitt, who started the Collett's bookshops.

She was already eighty, a communist, a member of the Wine Society and someone who knew how to continue making friends with people of all ages and how to enjoy herself. I had an almost self-contained flatlet at the top of her house in Lawn Road, where I gave one-to-one tuition to school students in English, Latin and once (memorably) to Artemis Cooper, Anglo-Saxon!

When not teaching, I walked the cavalier King Charles Spaniel Barty, made friends with the accidental patchwork cat Candy and wrote my first novel, White Magic.

I didn't really know what I was doing but bought several books like Alan Garner's Alderley Edge novels and decided I must write 80,000 to 90,000 words. I gave myself a year.

In fact it took eighteen months and then I had to pay someone to type it up for me. (I didn't even own a typewriter in those days). I didn't know about getting an agent so just started sending it out to publishers - who started sending it back.

I had started, almost accidentally, writing for the Times Educational Supplement by then (a story for another day, involving sex and the sunset). Someone from Curtis Brown wrote to me and said "I don't know who you are but you can certainly write. Are you thinking of a book?" or words to that effect. I wish I could say the rest was history but my first agent, Elizabeth Stephenson at Curtis Brown, had no more luck placing my novel than I had had. We both got very polite letters but no offers.

Then I met Richard Adams. Watership Down had just won the Carnegie Medal and the TES sent me to interview him. This I did in an Indian restaurant in Islington where I was rather embarrassed by his loud references to what he had said to his psychotherapist. Afterwards we went back to his house for coffee and he drove me back to Belsize Park.

In the course of the evening I had mentioned that I had written a novel for children (I even looked hungrily at his Medal) and when he dropped me off he sent me in to fetch the ms, which he offered to read for me. I'll give you a minute to let that sink in. HE OFFERED TO READ MY BOOK!

I had no idea just how kind this was then but I do now, so thank you Richard Adams. A few days later he rang and suggested I submit it to his publisher Rex Collings. Rex was in the habit of having books read by two young readers before accepting them for publication. Their reports were good and I got the acceptance letter - still the highlight of my career to date.

I should have asked Richard Adams for a cover quote, shouldn't I? (Though I doubt "perfectly publishable" would have sold many extra copies). The book came out, got 2 good reviews in the TES and the New Statesman, as I recall, and then sank without trace. Not a starry début. But by then it was too late; I was hooked for life. Page struck, as I sometimes describe it.

Ninety plus books later, I am still at it. I type my own novels now, straight on to the laptop, and I've had the same wonderful agent, Pat White, at Rogers, Coleridge and White, for over 25 years. But just think, if the TES had sent another freelance to do that interview, or if Richard Adams had been less kind or as inundated with requests to read unpublished WiPs as he doubtless later became, who knows what might have happened?